Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Simple Bastards I

Give me a moment... this is the second time I am having to write this because the first version read like a portion of a Richard Pryor stand up.

SMPL NMB NT DMB SS BSTRDS!!!! (anyone want to buy a vowel?)

Why is this world so full of people who are so abysmally stupid? People who are so disconnected from the plane of reality that you have to wonder how it is that they are able to survive. People whose actions and words are so painful to see and hear that you want to rip out your OWN eyes and ears just so you do not have to be party to the madness.

Simple bastards are a blight on the human race. They are responsible for the decline of society, morals, values, and all that we hold dear. Every atrocity that has been committed against mankind can directly or indirectly be connected to a simple bastard.

Satan - Simple "I am better than you God and I will take over the whole world" Bastard*

Christopher Columbus - Simple "Screw the map, I know where the #@$% I am" Bastard

Adolf Hitler - Simple "I and the Nazis are better than everyone and I will take over the world" Bastard (note the similarities to Satan)

Trans Atlantic Slave Trade - Simple "let's screw over millions of people for generations to come" Bastard**

Jessie Jackson - Simple "He's talking down to black folk (like black folk are not smart enough to understand what is said by a person with any type of intelligence and education..dumbass... just because you can't understand what he is saying doesn't mean the rest of us can't figure it out)" Bastard

Michael Savage - Simple "I make sweeping statements and generalisations about things that I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT and then call anyone who actually knows something about the subject and contradicts my incorrect assumptions far left stalinists" Bastard

*Obviously this is not a real depiction but it amused me
**Ok so the Atlantic Slave Trade is not an actual person but you can bet that a Simple Bastard came up with the idea


Sam said...

That was good for a chuckle.

Ranting Auntie said...

only a chuckle.. I guess I have to step up my game then

Sam said...

It was a long chuckle.