Ladies...

"She's A Lady" – Tom Jones

Well she's all you'd ever want,She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.Well she always knows her place.She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.

She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she's never in the wayAlways something nice to say, Oh what a blessing.I can leave her on her ownKnowing she's okay alone, and there's no messing.

She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she never asks for very much and I don't refuse her.Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her.What she's got is hard to find, and I don't want to lose herHelp me build a mountain from my little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.Well she knows what I'm about,She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy,Well she knows me through and through,She knows just what to do, and how to please me.

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As I sat on the train on my way into the city this morning my mind turned to this song, and I thought to myself; “you know Tom would have a hard time singing that song in this day and age” because there are not that many women who can be called a “lady” in the true sense (meaning my definition) of the word.

Back in the day a woman was a lady. A lady did not step out of the house unless she had herself looking correct. Her hair was coiffed, her face could stop traffic (as in wow there is a nice looking lady, not OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!!!) with or without makeup, and her clothes accentuated her body and left a man* to wonder at and appreciate what she had going on. She would glide with effortless grace, head high and posture erect. Men* would pass and tip their hats to which she would reply with a reciprocal nod or a cordial greeting. Her voice was gentle and her speech eloquent. Her worth was known to her, and she carried herself with dignity accordingly.

In this day and age a woman is… I do not even know what to call them. Yes I said them. I am a lady. I do not know what those other people are. They will step out of the house looking any old kind of way. Their hair is more often than not still in rollers, wrapped with hairpins, or tied up in a scarf [this is ONLY acceptable if you are just coming from getting it done]. Their face speeds up traffic because, dang did they even wash it before they left out? Their clothes…(see internal dialogue). The words “grace” and “posture” have been banished from their collective conscience. Men* pass, and keep on moving. Their voice is shrill and their speech abrasive. Their worth is believed to be far below what it actually is and they lower themselves accordingly.

{Internal Dialogue}
I am truly dumbfounded but what I see around me. When did it become acceptable to stuff an acre of body into a half yard of clothe? As a female I cringe on a daily basis as I see the over abundance of flesh around me. Hemlines seem to get shorter possibly in an attempt to meet the slowly dropping waistline. [let me take this moment to state for the record that low waist pants are OF THE DEVIL and I would really like to drop kick the idiot that thought it would be a good idea] Shirt hemlines however, seem to have an aversion to being near pant or skirt waistlines and have been beating a steady retreat north. Cloth sizes seem to be shrinking, either that or women are just in a perpetual state of denial about what their REAL size is. I mean if the garment makes it look like you are walking on two logs of cottage cheese and not legs, well then it is TOO TIGHT! That mess in NOT cute in any way, shape or form. Women need to stop going in the juniors section (which should be called the mini stripper uniform section cause have you seen what they have for little girls to wear these days?!?!? Booty shorts!!! On a 5 year old!!! B-O-O-T-Y shorts!!?!?!?!WTF!!! I digress, where was I, oh yes…) for their clothes. Age and gravity are real. You got older, stuff spread out, dress your age please. And I am tired of seeing people in the grocery, laundry, bank, etc in their pajamas. Sweats are acceptable, Care Bears are not. Does it really take that long to put on proper attire and fix your face (as my mommy says) before you step outside? Furthermore, underwear is called UNDER wear for a reason. It is thus named because it is to be worn underneath your clothing not AS clothing. I simply cannot understand this tendency to come out with drawers on as top clothes. Call me old fashioned, call me a prude, call me whatever you want, but I still think the only person(s) that should know what my underwear look like are the sales lady at Victoria’s Secret, God, and the man* I marry.

I want a return of the “lady”. I want to be able to get on the bus, train, or just walk down the street without having to avert my eyes because chick in front of me is not wearing clothes and all her business is out. I want to go to the store and spend hours there because I want to, not because that is how long it takes to find something that fits, is tasteful, and makes me look good, not cheap or easy. I want to be able to walk down the street without some dude (notice I did not say a man or men) calling out something rude and whistling at me and thinking I will actually acknowledge them because chick in front of me did, then get pissed when I don’t. I want to see women stop settling for the worst because that is what they believe they are worthy of. I want to see women take pride in themselves and do things to lift themselves to a higher standard, not lower themselves to someone else’s.

In short I want a return of old school taste and class, and self respect.

Is that asking too much?

*I use the term man, or men to signify real gentlemen with class, dignity, and manners.