Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Cry Me A River

Of late my life has been pretty much ok. Hectic, but ok. I may not be exactly where I want to be in life, but I am getting there, and I know that I am not the person that I used to be.

So why are people from my past, people I have cut ties to, people I have made it CRYSTAL FREAKING CLEAR to that under no circumstances do I want anything to do with them, trying to talk to me?

Every person has a breaking point. The point at which they say screw it this is not worth it. That point for me was about two years ago. My life really sucked. I found out that the 28 years I had spent being a good kid, studying my behind off (a considerable effort cause I got a lot to work with), treating others kindly, turning the other cheek, and generally being a decent person were basically for naught. When the rubber hit the road the person that I had been to that point did not matter, the only thing that matter was the person everyone was willing to believe that I was. Things got ugly, and for a while I was done with people as a whole, church people in general, and certain people specifically. I wrote some people off because I realised that they were immature, selfish liars. Others were written off because I realised that they were not real friends. I made my choices, kept my head up, and move on.

So why is it that some of the people who were left behind are trying to catch back up? Why are they trying to talk now when the time for talking and speaking the truth came and went a long time ago? Why are they saying they don't want to be enemies anymore when by their behaviour they made it clear that we were never really even friends? Why do they pretend ignorance? Why do they want forgiveness yet don't admit to doing anything wrong? Isn't that a contradiction? Why are they asking for forgiveness if they don't think they did anything wrong? Is the guilt weighing too heavily on them? Are too many people asking questions that they can't answer?

Whatever the case may be, my response remains the same...


I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to her (and all the rest of them) and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me (did you think I would not find out? you really are stupid)
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it (well you would have still failed but it would not have been an epic fail)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him (and her and a whole lot of others)
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me (which was obviously bullshit good thing the feeling wasn't mutual)
Why did you leave me, all alone (actually I am happy that you did)
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone (do me a favour and lose my number)
(When you call me on the phone)
Dude I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other gal
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river

Would you like a tissue???

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