Patience is still a virtue

We live in a society where people are used to getting things instantly. Fast food, instant movie and music downloads, everything at the touch of a button.

That has unfortunately created a group of people that do not understand that everything cannot be instant.

I am sick and tired of people who do not understand the concept that you cannot snap your fingers and expect things to happen. People who just want what they want when they want it and give no thought to whether it is even done properly.

When you represent a company, brand, group, or what have you, it makes sense to take your time and do things properly. When you just rush into things without thinking them out, you end up with an end product that is shabby, shoddy, and looks thrown together (because it is).

I was raised on the concept of doing things decently and in order. Yes I could easily rush through most things and get them done, but I prefer to take those extra few moments to make sure they are done properly. This is especially important when you are talking about things that other people will see and know you by.

You only get one chance to make a first impression. When you rush things and just put any old thing out there, that is what people are going to associate you with and that is not a good look.

You want to go rush into things without thinking them through, that is your business, go right ahead. Do not, however, look to someone else (or me) to fix things because they are not what you wanted.

Oscar the Grouch has beef with Fox News...

'Sesame Street' Dig at POX News Draws Backlash, Rebuke From PBS



You know I really don't know what to say about this. I have been watching Sesame Street basically my entire life. Truth be told I still watch it.

This story annoys me for the simple fact that it grates on my nerves that everyone is so picky, sensitive, over analytical, and just plain cry babyish these days, and that the dude is griping about an episode FROM TWO YEARS AGO!!!!

I mean come on. What do I remember from Sesame Street... hmmm let me see... I remember my ABC's and 123's. I remember to be nice and to treat others the way I want to be treated. I remember that sharing is the right thing to do. That people are different but that doesn't mean that one person is any better than another.

Apparently I wasn't paying enough attention because I missed the part where the show was a tool of the liberal media to skew the thoughts of my precocious little mind to believe that liberals are good and conservatives are bad.

Me thinks someone needs to chill the (insert rude word here) out and be easy. It is not that deep people... really...

Sheesh...

Stuff This Chick Hates 1

1. Stupid and/or senseless kids.

True Story:

So I am in the nailery (is that a legitimate word?) on Monday getting a mani and pedi. As I am sitting there soaking my nails (I had wrapped my own nails for a bit and was taking the wrap off), these two girls are at the table with me doing the same. Turns out they came to the shop and each got a full set done, but when it came time to pay, neither one had money. They called their uncle to ask him to come pay and he told them no because he hadn't given them permission in the first place. So the shop owner got rightfully upset and made them sit and soak them off.

Seriously, this really happened.

Really.

All I could do was shake my head. I mean come on now. What did these girls (they had to be between the ages of like 10 and 13 at the most) think was going to happen? Did they think the owner would have just let them walk out without paying after two people just basically wasted an hour each doing their nails while PAYING customers where there waiting for service.

Incidents like that are why some days I really think about just not having children.


2. Stupid and/or senseless adults.

True story

So I am coming home from work on Tuesday and am on the bus when this couple (or at least they knew each other some kind of way) and proceeds to stand abreast of each other right at the front of the bus. Now any one who has ever taken the bus in NYC or any city for that matter will immediately realise why this would be a problem. It made no sense to me because the bus was not even full. There were seats right there in the front. They could have sat down, but no they had to stand right in the front and then want to side eye people and look put upon when other passengers trying to get on the bus asked them to move.

Why are people stupid? Really. Why?

Did you hear the one about the blonde...

who pissed a whole lot of people off because when asked a direct question she gave a direct answer, however it was apparently not the answer that they wanted to hear.

By now most people have already heard about the debacle with the response given by Miss California in response to the question about whether she believed in gay marriage. Her response was that she believed a marriage should be between a man and a woman. Fair enough. She was asked what SHE believed and she stated what SHE believed.


I personally have no problems with her response. The way I see it, why bother asking someone a question if you are already set in your mind that there is only one way that is acceptable to YOU of answering the question. That is setting the person up.

My problem comes from first the response of the audience, secondly from the way that Perez Hilton has subsequently responded to her answer, and thirdly the response of people who were once behind her and supported her but now, because she simply stated HER belief on a subject, have left her swinging in the wind. Talk about fair weather friends indeed.

Reading the articles and seeing how the Miss California directors acted towards and treated her was very eye opening. Take for example the reactions of the California State Pageant Director Shanna Moakler as quoted in this FOX News article:
"While all of the state pageant directors were quick to greet their beauty queens after the live telecast, Moakler and Lewis did not go backstage, nor did they call Prejean to congratulate her on being first runner-up for Miss USA, after Prejean told a national TV audience that she was personally opposed to gay marriage.

Instead, Moakler started Twittering.

"This is why we have judges at Miss USA, so we find the girl to rep us ALL," Moakler Twittered after the pageant.

"I don’t know how you can call a gay man or woman your friend and not want them 2 have the same joys as yourself. In my family we believe in equal rights for all, I am sad and hurt, I agree with Perez 100 [percent]. It's one thing to have an opinion I am very opinionated n have dealt with backlash from it, it's another to alienate people who cared about u."

Moakler, who sources say was very close friends with Prejean (who was first runner-up in the Miss California USA pageant in 2008 before winning in 2009), also issued an apology to her state pageant sponsors on Monday, saying that "Prejean’s opinions do not stand for those of the Miss California family."

I somehow think that if Moakler were to take a poll of the "Miss California family" she might be surprised to find out that wonder of all wonders, not every person believes the exact same thing. Further more, it is possible for someone to represent a body of people without being of the exact same mind as those people on everything. I wonder what Moakler's comments and responses would have been if Prejean had answered the question "favourably" and had to feel backlash from groups and people who believe that "marriage" is the union between a man and a woman? Or do their opinions, and beliefs not count?

Hypocrites... all of them...

Cry Me A River

Of late my life has been pretty much ok. Hectic, but ok. I may not be exactly where I want to be in life, but I am getting there, and I know that I am not the person that I used to be.

So why are people from my past, people I have cut ties to, people I have made it CRYSTAL FREAKING CLEAR to that under no circumstances do I want anything to do with them, trying to talk to me?

Every person has a breaking point. The point at which they say screw it this is not worth it. That point for me was about two years ago. My life really sucked. I found out that the 28 years I had spent being a good kid, studying my behind off (a considerable effort cause I got a lot to work with), treating others kindly, turning the other cheek, and generally being a decent person were basically for naught. When the rubber hit the road the person that I had been to that point did not matter, the only thing that matter was the person everyone was willing to believe that I was. Things got ugly, and for a while I was done with people as a whole, church people in general, and certain people specifically. I wrote some people off because I realised that they were immature, selfish liars. Others were written off because I realised that they were not real friends. I made my choices, kept my head up, and move on.

So why is it that some of the people who were left behind are trying to catch back up? Why are they trying to talk now when the time for talking and speaking the truth came and went a long time ago? Why are they saying they don't want to be enemies anymore when by their behaviour they made it clear that we were never really even friends? Why do they pretend ignorance? Why do they want forgiveness yet don't admit to doing anything wrong? Isn't that a contradiction? Why are they asking for forgiveness if they don't think they did anything wrong? Is the guilt weighing too heavily on them? Are too many people asking questions that they can't answer?

Whatever the case may be, my response remains the same...

CRY ME A RIVER

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to her (and all the rest of them) and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me (did you think I would not find out? you really are stupid)
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it (well you would have still failed but it would not have been an epic fail)
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him (and her and a whole lot of others)
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me (which was obviously bullshit good thing the feeling wasn't mutual)
Why did you leave me, all alone (actually I am happy that you did)
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone (do me a favour and lose my number)
(When you call me on the phone)
Dude I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other gal
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river

Would you like a tissue???

My Own Worst Enemy?

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:52 am
Subject: advice


so, i've had my long hair for a few months now. . .my mom loves it, my
cousin & her daughter love it - these are people I trust to tell me, "yeah
that's cute or girl it's time to let that go". . . so it took me by
surprise this morning when a co-worker friend told me, out of the blue,
"you know, I think you should get a short curly bob, that would look cute
on you". . .so are you telling me I don't look cute now?? . . .and why say
this now and not when I first got my hair back in July?? I told her I like
long hair. I mean, you have seen me, what do i need with a curly bob -
i'll look like a freakin' clown!! Now, she started wearing a new wig to
work last week, cute little bob w/layers in the back. I even told her it
looked cute b/c it does.

Why do "we" have such a hard time complementing each other?? She's cool
and all but I'm leery of people who give you those backhanded compliments.
ok, thanks for letting me vent. :-) do you think i'm overreacting or have
you come across people like this??

-- CJ

I received the email above from one of my best girl friends and it got me thinking about the question she raised; why do "we" have such a hard time complementing each other? Why do "we" often tear each other down? Why are "we" often our own worst enemy?

By "we" I mean black women, women of colour, however you define yourself, but for the purposes of not wanting to write all of that every time, I will generically use the term black. (Feel free to take umbrage with that, note however that I will feel free not to care).

This will probably get me in a lot of trouble with many people (like I care) but I really have to wonder if the "plight" of the black woman is more our own doing than the fault of how others outside of the race/culture treat us. Everyone always wants to blame "the man" for how we are portrayed in the media, treated in relationships, and looked upon in society, but a lot of the blame needs to be laid at our own doorsteps because we are often the number one offenders.

How many times do you see a scenario such as this:

1. Group of ladies...wait.. scratch that.. a group of females (because ladies should/would not behave so poorly) are out at the club, decent guy tries to chat them up and they brush him off and generally disavow his existence. He moves along then goes over to someone else who does pay him attention and they start chatting it up and so on. Upon seeing this the females then proceed to talk all kinds of trash about her. Something along the lines of:

• girl look at her, she think she cute with her little (insert trendy designer here) outfit on...

• that's probably a weave or a wig or something she got on (don't bust on weaves and wigs people... seriously... now if it's a busted then go right ahead, but if it is tight and looking right well then put the hater aide down and STFU)...

• just cause she is caramel/chocolate/redbone/high yellow/short/tall/slim/curvy etc. she think everybody wants to talk to her

This is such a typical occurrence that it has basically become normative. Why is there such competition going on? What are we competing for? Seriously?

The whole concept of blaming "the man (black and white)" is pretty much ridiculous to me because really, who do you think they are learning that it is ok to treat black women that way from? Why should they treat us any particular way when they see us putting each other down and treating each other so badly?

Why should men not call us bitches and hoes when we call each other that ALL THE TIME!!!

Why should men respect us when we do not even respect ourselves?

Seriously females piss me off with that nonsense. Always the first to fuss and kick about how males in society treat them but not once does it occur to them that the males are sometimes only mimicking their own behaviour.

If women want things to change, if WE want things to change, then we need to do like Michael said and start with the [wo]man in the mirror. Stop looking to others to change their ways first and lead by example.

Floor-E-duh Sucks...

As a Met fan we are basically conditioned from the womb to handle massive disappointment...

We knew our bullpen sucked... we were prepared for the madness... we hoped for the best yet prepared for the worst..

In that respect they did not let us down..

They sucked just as badly as we expected them to... it just saddens me that Shea had to close its doors forever on such a sad note..

/begin rant...

I would like to publicly say that I will now and forever hate the Florida Marlins for the simple fact that they specifically said (for two seasons in a row now) that if they couldn't get into the playoffs then they would make sure the Mets did not as well.. now we did ourselves in with a horrible bullpen, that is true, but damn it have some freaking class Florida, if we had come into your stadium and it was the last game in a historic place and we were already out of the running then we would have at least had the freaking decency to play with class and let some sh*t slide...and just for that I am gonna root for the Rays because they are a better team anyway and currently the best thing to come out of Florida... bastards...

/end rant...

Hoes and the People who LOVE Them

What is the appeal of a hoe? Seriously

This has been on my mind for some time now and is especially bothersome because I see it happening to people who are (or used to be) in my circle.

What is it about a man whore or skank that will attract seemingly normal people to them?
How many times have you seen what appears to be a decent looking male or female with the equivalent of Flava Flav (spelling? like I care) or New York on their arm?

It becomes more troublesome when the couple in question and the full story is known to you (and a whole lot of other people some times depending on how hoetastic the person is).

Man whores and skanks, while often stupid and ignorant of many things, know there craft very well. They know just what to say, what to do, and how to act to draw people into their clutches. In many respects they are very much like certain types of spiders that build elaborate traps and then lure their victims in. They, much like animal predators, look for the weakest link in the group or in the armour of the intended victim and exploit that to the fullest.

At the other end of the spectrum you have the victim. We know and understand how they can be lured, but what makes them stay? Most man whores and skanks are cheaters, liars, and repeat offenders. They also have a tendency to be very brazen and presumptuous, flaunting their behaviour in the face of the victim, yet the victim stays. Does low self esteem play into the decision to stay? Do they feel like either they cannot do any better, or that this is all or the best that they deserve?

It would seem that this type of highly dysfunctional relationship, while in no way new to society, has become more common. One has to wonder why. I am of the mind that it is a type of after effect of past mistakes by society. Teen parents too young to have children much less raise them. A generation of boys trying to teach their boys how to be men and girls trying to teach their girls how to be women. Single parents trying to do it all, some fairly well, some failing abysmally. Boys who remained mentally boys because there was no one to teach them how to be men. Girls who either want to emulate the boys, or don't know their own self worth because they did not have strong female roll models to emulate.

We as a part of society today also have to take part of the blame because we excuse a lot of the trifling behaviours of man whores and skanks. How many "boys will be boys" have we heard uttered or spoken ourselves? How many "well guys do it too so why can't she/I"? How many people do we know personally who are either man whores or skanks and we still keep company with them even knowing all the dirty that they do and the hurt that they have caused?

How much of the dirt do we know about but keep to ourselves instead of letting the victims know what is really going on. Granted there are some males/females who are the victims in these types of relationships that refuse to see the truth of the matter or to hear anyone who tells them that all is not well in their world. Those people you just have to leave to their own devices. Eventually they will hit a rock bottom point and understand that being in denial does not change reality, but what about the rest of the time?

Regardless of the cause the madness remains the same and frankly it is disheartening to see.

The rest of us, who are decent people (at least I am, I hope the rest of you are) and just looking for other decent people to be with are now faced with the task of having to weed out the man whores and the skanks.

Sigh...

The New Black Plague

There is a growing epidemic sweeping the nation. It is invading our homes, our schools, our jobs, it has even made it into the sanctified (well at least they should be sanctified) halls of our places of worship. Families are being broken apart by it. Friends are turning against friends. Brother against brother and sister against sister.

Bitch Nigganess...

It is the Black Plague of the 21st century. (ha. pun intended)

Males generally begin showing signs of the disease around the age of 18, but symptoms can present themselves earlier if the subject is exposed to the disease at a younger age. This is especially the case with father to son and older to younger brother transmission. Bitch nigga fathers generally have bitch nigga sons. Bitch nigga older brothers generally have bitch nigga younger brothers.

Bitch Nigganess is infecting the male population at an alarming rate. New strains are appearing almost overnight and each one is stronger than that which preceded it. While there is debate over the finer points of the full list of symptoms of Bitch Nigganess, there are some traits and behaviours that are commonly identified as symptoms of those afflicted with the disease:

*arrogance
*prettiness
*pettiness
*egotism
*narcissism
*pride
*stupidity

Those afflicted with Bitch Nigganess often see themselves as God's gift to the world. They are often man whores who spend an inordinate amount of time trying to amass as many conquests as possible. They are excellent orators and lie with the skill of Peter (who not once, not twice, but THREE times denied that he knew Christ with a straight face.) The disease manifests changes at a cellular level and results amazingly in a change in biological order. Men infected with Bitch Nigganess change from primates to reptiles. This is evidenced by their chameleon like disguise skills and forked tongues.

Bitch Nigganess is running rampant in our communities and this country. Bitch niggas are in every sector of life, from the upper tiers of society and government (Capitol Hill is infested with them), to board rooms (Bob Johnson), court rooms (pick a justice, any justice), school rooms (so many teachers will go to hell), even the choir room (Satan I rebuke you) and the ramifications of the actions of those infected are spreading with reckless abandon. The greatest impact of the disease is being made on females in the 18-30 age range as they are the primary prey of those infected by Bitch Nigganess. This is most alarming because Bitch Nigganess is fatal to females. Once a bitch nigga infects a female, her hopes, dreams, aspirations, family connections, self esteem, intelligence, common sense, rationality, reason, and credit rating die. She is left a shell of her former self, mocked by society, scorned by her peers, and shunned by friends and loved ones.

It is time for us to rise up and fight to stop the spread of this disease. A line must be drawn in the sand as we stand and say "thus far and no further!". The burden lies heavily on the grandmothers, mothers, wives, and sisters of the community as they are the first lines of defense to catch Bitch Nigganess in the early stages.

Ladies, if the young men in your life start exhibiting signs of Bitch Nigganess there are steps that can be immediately taken to counter act and stave off the disease:

*beat his ass down
*send him to Big Momma for a spell
*call on Jesus
*any of the above singularly or in combination

If the grown men in your life start exhibiting signs of Bitch Nigganess... LEAVE!!! Run as fast as you can. Take some time to collect yourself and get back on track. Find a real MAN as soon as possible.

Bitch Nigganess has largely gone undetected by the CDC, and in many societies is accepted as par for the course or as a normal facet of behaviour. This however is not the case. Bitch Nigganess is a virulent disease that needs to be stopped before it turns into a pandemic.

Who is with me?

Simple Bastard IV

JP Morgan Chase Bank

Fridays are my favourite day by simple virtue of the fact that it represents my emancipation time from the drudgery of the 9 to 5. However this Friday my general happiness was marred by the jackassery that occurred when I went to Chase Bank to get petty cash for the office.

The Rundown

Me: Good morning, I need to cash this check for petty cash (signs check in presence of teller, hands over check and photo identification)
Teller: I can't cash this check.
Me: *crickets*
Me: Excuse me?
Teller: I can't cash this check (hands check back to me)
Me: Can you explain why to me as my company has been using this branch for the past 5 years and this is the first time I have heard this. I have a signature card on file can you check it?
Teller: We don't have signature cards anymore.
Me: (squinty eyed and mean looking as I have not slept more that 8 hours combined for the whole week) What?
Teller: We don't have signature cards anymore because anyone can cash petty cash checks, but the check has to be made payable to "Petty Cash".
Me: Are you serious? It says "petty cash" in the memo and "CASH" in the pay to line. How can this not be cashed?
Teller: Sorry.

So now I go over to customer service and they try to brush me off. I however and functioning on basically no sleep, my bulls*t quota had already been filled that morning, and I was not leaving the bank. So I went into pretentious b*tch mode.

Me: Ma'am while the bank may have instituted those changes I do not recall any written notice being sent to our company advising of the new system.
Customer Service: Your bank rep should have told you.
Me: Seeing as I am standing here having this conversation with you it is obvious that this did not happen. Our bank rep is (name) her phone number is .... she is however on vacation right now. Her back up is (name) and her phone number is .... I cannot reissue this check as one of the signers is not in the office and I need to cash this check. It is clear from the way the check is issued that it is a petty cash check and if the only thing keeping me from cashing it is that the word "petty" is not in the pay to line, well that is not acceptable. I either want to speak to a manager or ask that our rep be called for clearance because this is frankly ridiculous.

Yeah I said all of that and you best believe they made the phone call. I then had to sit and wait for 30 minutes for our company bank rep to send and email to the branch administrator giving the okay for the check to be cashed at which point once received the teller calls me back to the window.

Teller: Okay I can take the check now.
Me: (giving stink eye) You already have it. Customer Service took it from me and brought it over here.
Teller: (looks down) Oh yeah. Sorry. Okay I need two pieces of identification, preferably a photo id and a credit card.
Me: What the!?!?!? Two pieces of id? Why?
Teller: Oh, if the check is over $500 you have to give two pieces of id.
Me: So you didn't tell me this when I was first here because?
Teller: *crickets*
Me: (stupsing mouth real hard and searching bag, thankfully I had my bank card in my purse)


I hand over my bank card and then have to place a finger print on the check and FINALLY after an HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of idiocy I was able to get the cash and leave.


I officially hate Chase Bank with every fiber of my mortal being and rebuke their DUMB ASS practises to the pit of hell from whence they came. The devil is a liar!

You Are NOT That Important!

I, like many if not most people these days, own a bluetooth ear piece. It comes in very handy when I need to multi task and don't want to run the risk of:

*choking myself with the wire from the traditional ear piece
*accidentally cutting the cord of the ear piece with the scissors I was using to open a box (this really happened and I was in the middle of a conversation)
*forgetting the ear piece was attached to the phone and walking away resulting in the phone being dropped

For as good as they may be, I do have one real serious beef with them...

People who wear them ALL THE TIME!!!!

WTTF!!!!

You are NOT that important... really...

I am sick and tired of seeing people with their ear pieces in all over the place. Let's be real shall we, unless you are a doctor who is on call all the time there is no need for that thing to be in your ear all the time. More often that not my ear piece is left at home. Truth be told I very rarely take or make calls on my cell phone during the day. I either text or people call me at my desk. If I do happen to bring it with me it is because I specifically intend to call someone while I am on my lunch break and out walking, or when I get off the train. In those cases, it stays turned off and put away until I am actually going to use it. What is the point of having it on while I am on the train (even though my train runs outside for part of my trip)? The train is loud, and even when I get calls on the train I tell whomever is calling that I am (duh) on the train and will call them back when I get off. It is like those people who take out there (insert pretentious phone or PDA device name here) on the train and start playing with it. WTF are you doing? You are on the train! You know good and well you are getting no signal and can't do a damn thing with the phone except have it out so people can see that you have one. Pretentious bougie douche bag that you are. Yeah I said it. (that is for those people who will point out to me that I myself own a PDA smart phone. Bite me all of you. I know when it is and is not appropriate to whip it out [pun fully intended])

My biggest annoyance I think comes with people who I see wearing them in church. Come the [censored] on now!!! Unless that is Jesus calling you on the royal telephone to glory GET OF THE [CENSORED] PHONE!!! To me that is the height of jackassery and pretentiousness. I have seen ushers, musicians, and even other ministers walk into the house of the Lord with the things still in their ears and mosey right on up to the platform. Again I say unless you are a doctor who is on call or some other type of emergency personnel or something you are NOT that important!!
I don't even walk with my own on a Sunday when I go to church because everyone who knows me knows that it is totally pointless to call me between the hours of 12 noon and 3pm. I am in church, it is loud (at least in my church... we are Pentecostal and Caribbean), and regardless of that I have the phone on vibrate anyway in case anyone forgets themselves and actually does call me.

I am not in anyway trying to knock the whole bluetooth hands free thing, it is a great idea. I just get overwhelming annoyed at the knucka knuckas (one of my dad's favourite sayings) who wear them all the time and in the most inappropriate places. Simple Bastards.

Chivalry Is Dead...

and women killed it.

Yes, I said it. Women are responsible for driving a stake through the heart of chivalry.

This really annoys me because as a woman I understand that the lack of chivalry in my day to day life is directly the result of generations of women working so hard to be "free and equal" that they obliterated the finer points of the things that made men and women inherently and wonderfully different.

There are those women who would say that men and women should be equal in all things, that there is no division between the sexes, that anything a man can do a woman can do with equal measure. Those who believe that all women should be "Independent Women" (screw you Destiny's Child). To those women I respectfully say [censored]!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I am fully in support of the idea that if a woman and a man do the same job or perform the same function in the workforce then the pay received should be equal. A woman should not be passed over for a promotion or looked over for a job because of her gender. That is discrimination and that is ignorant. That however is not what I am talking about.

What I do NOT support is the social castration of men. We are living in a society where females are being taught that they don't need a man for anything up to and including having/raising kids, which in turn breeds a level of disrespect towards and devaluation of women by men. Back in the day a man had to work to gain a woman's attention. He had to have class, style, manners, be gainfully employed, and carry himself with dignity. He had to treat her with respect and treat her as something valuable. In turn, women treated men with respect and allowed them to be real men. Then came feminism. I am woman hear me roar! I can have a career, run the house, and do everything a man can do. Big freaking deal. Now again I will reiterate that I am in full support of equal pay for equal work irrespective of gender. However, I believe that the independent woman/men and women are equal ideology does not work well with in the social and family structure.

Men and women are NOT THE SAME, and there is a reason for that. Men were fashioned in the role of protector and women in the role of nurturer. It is a ying and yang like relationship that balances itself out. When one party tries to take on the mantle of the other, then things are thrown out of balance and we end up where we are today.

I know this is going to get me in trouble, but what do I care. There are times when it seems that the feminist movement did more harm than good. I am sick and tired of hearing women go on and on about how they don't need a man to do for them because they can do for themselves. Well good for you SuperWoman, but what about the rest of us? There are some women who actually like men to be men (I can hear the undies of the extreme feminists twisting into a serious bunch right now). I want a man to open doors for me. I want a man to see my walking with bags and offer to assist me. I want a man to give up their seat for me on the bus or train. I want a man to offer to fix things for me. I want a man to be the head of my household, to be an example for my future children, to protect me. Does that make me lazy? Does it make me old fashioned? Does it make me crazy? I don't think so. I know good and well how to be handy, and can fix and repair a good number of things in my apartment on my own, but just because I can does not mean that I want to all the time. I also believe that I could raise a child on my own, but just because I could does not mean that I would want to or that I should.

I miss the days when men could be men without the fear recrimination from women. I miss the days of men holding doors, pulling out chairs, giving up seats, and just being gentlemen. I miss the days of men bringing the car around or offering their jacket so you would not have to get wet up in the rain. I miss the days of men being men in the home. In this day and age a chivalrous man is a rarity. The older men who were raised right are dying out, and the generations following them are not being taught to be proper men.

The men of my generation and the ones that follow me know nothing of chivalry and being a man. They have not been taught to be a gentleman, and they have no examples of gentlemen around them to govern themselves by. They have been brought up in a society of females and dudes with no real ladies and gentlemen around to learn from. Go out and pick up any magazine especially those geared towards the "black" male youth and what do you see portrayed on the cover? Do you see upstanding men and women of the community? No you don't. There are rappers, and ballers, and random chicks who are NOT the example that the youth of today should be following after, but what else can we expect from a society that places more value on material worth than it does on class and character.

While I understand that to some extent the feminist movement was needed to address disparity and inequality once women entered the workforce, I believe that it was taken too far when it emasculated men.

I will now go and hide from the feminist who will no doubt be after my blood...SIKE!!

Simple Bastard III - Shark Week Edition

"There are no dangerous sharks, just dangerous situations" ...

The quote above was made by the gentleman in the clip below.

Simple "let's go stand where the animals that are known to eat ANYTHING and can kill us are swimming about in mass quantities while wearing absolutely NO protection of any kind and see what happens" Bastard.

How was this not considered a "dangerous situation"?

Shaking my head...

Tourists and Tasers

I want a taser gun as an early birthday present.

Ok, ok, so they are illegal, so what. Sometimes rules are meant to be broken if the cause is just and I believe that being able to tase the simple bastard tourists that screw up my time off for good behaviour is a just cause.

I travel. I go to other cities and countries, I have been and will continue to be at times a tourist. However as someone who works in a major city furthermore in an area that is a mecca for tourists (NYC: Times Square/Fashion District area), I have cultivated a deep respect for the locals. I am sick and tired of going outside on my lunch break with the anticipation of enjoying a nice walk, maybe some window or actual shopping, and just getting some air only to be met with this:

Simple (ohhh wee y'all we's in da big city) Bastards

BULLOCKS!!!! WTFF!!!!

My main beef with tourists is their inability to use common sense and make good judgments. They are loud, rude, pushy, and feel that everyone should pander to their whims as they are spending their precious dollars in our city and boosting our economy. While I may not be a native born New Yorker, let me offer what would be the common response of a native:

@#$& YOU, YOU DUMB@$% MOTHER@#%*$%. (this would probably be accompanied by particular hand motions)

When faced with tourists I often fell like Lois Griffin in that episode of Family Guy where all the city folk (New Yorkers apropos) come to Quahog to see the leaves, and want to do to the tourists what Stewie did to Brian:



I know there are many people who would say that I should lighten up, that I should allow for the fact that people are often enthralled with the sights and for many it is the first time they have seen these sights and it is an awe inspiring thing. To those people I respectfully say BITE ME. You can be filled with awe without standing in the middle of the sidewalk blocking my path as you stare at the buildings (wtf? do they not have buildings where you come from?) and taking a million and one pictures. You can be filled with awe without gathering in large masses at corner impeding the flow of traffic as you try figure out where to go from your map instead of just asking someone. You can be filled with awe without you and your whole damn gaggle of loud ass children holding up the line in McDonald's as I am try to get my damn fries because your ignorant ass cannot figure out what the hell you want. It is freaking MCDONALD'S you ignorant bastard!!! The basic menu is the SAME damn it!!! A Big Mac here is the same damn thing where you come from too and yes the value meal comes with fries you simple bastard.

Simple Bastards II

I had so much fun doing this yesterday that I figured why not make it a weekly thing. So here in no particular order is my list of Simple Bastards for the week:

Al Sharpton - Simple "man perm wearing, ignorance spewing, so NOT the voice of the black people" Bastard









Nancy Grace - Simple "dumb behind has no business reporting news and why do you look like that???" Bastard














Tom Cruise - Simple "couch jumping, Oprah scaring, done lost his damn mind" Bastard







Sting ray - Simple "Crocodile Hunter killing (I am STILL upset about that)" Bastard*









This Chick - Simple "you just made me throw up in my mouth with your nasty ghetto hot mess self" Bastard
















Her Man - Simple "how is it that you can buy all the "ice" yet your dumb behind is still living in your momma's basement/on your momma's couch, hey baby can I holla atchu fu a minute, can't speak proper english, saggin pant wearing, nasty ass" Bastard















The week has a few more days to go. I may have to revisit and update this list.

*yeah yeah yeah.. whatever... I know it is not a person, but as it is my blog I can pretty much do and say what I want.

Simple Bastards I

Give me a moment... this is the second time I am having to write this because the first version read like a portion of a Richard Pryor stand up.

SMPL NMB NT DMB SS BSTRDS!!!! (anyone want to buy a vowel?)

Why is this world so full of people who are so abysmally stupid? People who are so disconnected from the plane of reality that you have to wonder how it is that they are able to survive. People whose actions and words are so painful to see and hear that you want to rip out your OWN eyes and ears just so you do not have to be party to the madness.

Simple bastards are a blight on the human race. They are responsible for the decline of society, morals, values, and all that we hold dear. Every atrocity that has been committed against mankind can directly or indirectly be connected to a simple bastard.


Satan - Simple "I am better than you God and I will take over the whole world" Bastard*














Christopher Columbus - Simple "Screw the map, I know where the #@$% I am" Bastard















Adolf Hitler - Simple "I and the Nazis are better than everyone and I will take over the world" Bastard (note the similarities to Satan)
















Trans Atlantic Slave Trade - Simple "let's screw over millions of people for generations to come" Bastard**

Jessie Jackson - Simple "He's talking down to black folk (like black folk are not smart enough to understand what is said by a person with any type of intelligence and education..dumbass... just because you can't understand what he is saying doesn't mean the rest of us can't figure it out)" Bastard











Michael Savage - Simple "I make sweeping statements and generalisations about things that I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT and then call anyone who actually knows something about the subject and contradicts my incorrect assumptions far left stalinists" Bastard











*Obviously this is not a real depiction but it amused me
**Ok so the Atlantic Slave Trade is not an actual person but you can bet that a Simple Bastard came up with the idea

Freakin MTA

It is not even lunch time and I already want to kill... or at least maim.

I propose a change to the definition of the words "futile", "incomprehensible", and "pointless". When you look in the dictionary you should also find listed under the definition of these words the following:
NYC PUBLIC TRANSPORTAION SYSTEM (here after referred to as the freakin MTA).

WTFF!?!?!? Can I just get one morning where something does not screw up my commute?

This morning's commute went as follows:

1. get into station (hot as all get out) look and see train is coming... YES!
2. get on train, score seat immediately... YES!
3. get out book, arrange self and settle in for a peaceful ride... YES!
4. realise that the air is obviously set on BARELY ON because the car is still warm.. this is still okay.. it is not ideal situation, but at least the air is on.

Things start to go down hill from this point on.

5. go all of 5 stations to hear the following announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen we are delayed due to train traffic ahead of us."
followed up by:

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to debris on the tracks at Bowling Green, Manhattan bound 4 and 5 trains are running on the local track" (I happen to be on the local train)

At this point things are still okay. I have time and I am relaxing on my train. We are slowly but surely are making our way into the city. Then the following announcement is made:

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to the track conditions at Bowling Green, Manhattan bound 4 and 5 trains are termanting at Wall Street. For continuing service into Manhattan take the 2 (train I am on) or 3 train."

Things are still okay at this point because like I said, I am sitting on my train with my book and we are slowly but surely moving along...I know that when we get to the Wall Street stop there will be a truck load of people waiting to get on the train, but what do I care, I am seated, things are still well in my world... that is until we actually get to the Wall Street stop and hear this:

"Attention passengers, due to a sick customer on the train (my train) we are being held in the station momentarily to assess the situation. Please be patient."

Do the conductors and train operators realise that asking a bunch of people who are already hot and bothered because mother nature has the thermostat set to HELL, to please be patient in a subway car that is toasty, or standing on a platform that is buring up, is something akin to asking a lion who has not eaten in days and comes across a gimp zebra NOT to eat it...ain't gonna happen.

By this time I am annoyed because all that extra time I had built into my commute (I like to get into the city about 30 minutes early so I can get my mind right and knosh something before I start my day) is being eaten up. Futhermore, the train is getting ridiculously crowded, hotter, and we have been sitting in the station for a good 10 minutes. Also ALL those people from the 4 and 5 trains that are terminating at the Wall Street stop are trying to get on my train (because the laws of physics must not apply to them... simple bastards). Finally the conductor comes back over the PA system and delivers this gem:

"Attention passengers, due to a sick customer this train is being taken out of service. All passengers must exit the train. THIS TRAIN IS NO LONGER IN SERVICE."

FREAKIN' A!!!!!!

Are you kidding me!?!?!?!?

Why do I have to get off the train? Why can't they take the sicko off the train? This makes absolutely NO SENSE to me. Futhermore, if the train has to go out of service why do it at a station that is already packed because everyone from two other train lines have been rerouted there. Would it have killed the freaking MTA to let the train go one more stop to Fulton Street where I could have at least transfered to another train line? Damnit give me something to work with!!! Give me something to hope for!!!!

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

So instead of being 30 minutes early for work, I get in 30 minutes late... and am greeted by retards (yes, yes I know I shouldn't call people that because as the "retarded" lady on the bus said to someone one day, (I kid you not) "I'm retarded not stupid"... but whatever) who ask me dumbass questions before I even get to my desk... DAMN IT!!!

It's only Monday...

Project Runway

... OF.THE.DEVIL ...

Ok so the new season of Project Runway started tonight. In fact it is on right now. I am watching it, and hating myself for doing so. Here is a sampling of things that I have yelled at my television so far:

1. Jesus wept... at my first glimpse of the contestants

2. Dear God why... at the abundance of flaming men (seriously do they have a quota or something?)

3. Lord Jesus... at the chick who was in the produce section...WTFF are you doing!??!?! (side note: the judges liked this. obviously I have no understanding of fashion...)

4. oh Jesus...Jesus...Jesus... at whatever the hell that hot mess rainbow brite stripped leggings booty short combo thing that chick was wearing

5. and finally (I YELLED this at the top of my lungs by the way) THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!! ...at the season 1 guy... was that little boy blue that came across the street!?!?!?!? WTF children, WTFF was that?!?!?!

I hate you Bravo network. I HATE YOU!!!

{although I would like to say thank you to the judges for taking that Blayne dude (I HATE THAT NAME) down a peg}

I am going to take a shower now... I feel dirty...

Rush Hour Children

Have you ever had that moment where you consider going home, downing a bottle of 151, Jack, Johnnie, or something along those lines, then getting out your kitchen shears, a butcher knife, some twist ties, and tying your own tubes???



I did. Last night on the way home, and AGAIN this morning while commuting to work. Why? Because once again I found myself stuck in a sealed metal tube with Bebe's Kids...



Last night I had the pleasure of sharing my bus ride home with Sir Screams A-Lot. As the bus pulled up this loud screeching could be heard. I along with others waiting to get on kept looking around trying to trace its origin (in my case so I could run/limp screaming in the other direction). It was only as I got on the bus that I realised the noise was coming out of the body of a small child standing (not sitting.. STANDING) in the seat in front. Useless mom was sitting next to him basically being very ineffective at quieting his screaching, and what I assumed to be older sis was sitting in the next seat taunting him and screaching as well... I really thought about WALKING the rest of the way home (about 15-20 looonnnngggg blocks). It was only the fact that I was horrendously tired and in pain that held me back. So I put on my iPod and turned the volume all the way up and prayed for a swift ride home.



This morning it was Little Esse-san [I love Katt Williams] on the train. HTF ("how" instead of "what") can you whine, fuss, kick, cry, etc. from Brooklyn, ALL THE WAY to Midtown Manhattan!?!?!?! I didn't know who I wanted to hurt more, the kid or again the useless and totally ineffective mom. Futher more why did the mom look, I don't know, scared of the child? Like she was loathe to say or do anything that would set the little pokeman spawn of satan off further!?!?! WTFF!!! So again I put my iPod on and blasted it (I will probably be hard of hearing in my old age).

All I know is that if I had dared to behave in such a manner as a child my mother would have put a serious hurting on me because there was no way she was going to let me embarass her in public.

I am not looking forward to the commute home this evening. The urge to shove evil kids in front of buses, trains, or any vehicle with sufficient speed to render them moot grows stronger everyday... what to do...

Parades Are Evil

It is 11:15 am.

I am sitting at my desk working and thinking about the nice walk I am going to take at lunch time, and then my email alert flashes on the screen. I go to my inbox to find this:

From: xxxxxx

Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:24 AM

To: xxxxxxx

URGENT - URGENT - URGENT Importance: High

We have just been informed by NYPD that 40th Street and 41st Street will be closed between Broadway and 6th Avenue from 12:30 p.m. to 3 p.m. If you leave this block, you will need I.D. showing you work in this building. A SHORT NOTE ON YOUR LETTERHEAD STATING THAT YOUR EMPLOYEE WORKS AT THIS LOCATION MIGHT BE HELPFUL.
IF YOU ARE EXPECTING VISITORS DURING THIS PERIOD, PLEASE INFORM THEM TO THE POSSIBILITY THEY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO ENTER THIS BLOCK.

BULLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you freaking kidding me!!!! That's just great. So now instead of being able to go and enjoy my one hour of time off for good behaviour I have to dodge all the crackheads out there trying to catch the parade, all the news people reporting on the parade, and the NYPD brass band (damn near got taken out by mister tuba man who was too busy looking at everything else EXCEPT for where he was walking)... AND if I leave the block I have to be prepared to convince the PoPo that I actually work in a building on the block before they will let me back on?!?!?!

WTFF!?!?!?!? (remember the first "F" stands for flying) I got to prove that I want to go to work.. are you freaking kidding me? Bite me butt munch!!! This is why I hate parades. This is why they are evil. They are great only for the people who are actually IN the parade.The people who get to ride in the comfy cars and relax themselves. The rest of us just get screwed over in the process.

Oh and to top it off I REALLY had a crave for some McCracky's fries (don't act like you don't know what I mean) but of course that would have meant leaving the block and having to possibly deal with Sgt. Power Trip on the way back so I chose to forgo that and get a freaking salad... grrr.....