Sellout and Turncoat...

The insults and character defamation has begun...

Ok so as stated earlier, anyone who knows me knows that I generally do not discuss politics, however for the second time in this election process I am annoyed enough to say something.

I have a real problem with the way the Colin Powell endorsement is being treated.

The hypocrisy of it all is just mind blowing.

Black people and Democrats, you are hypocrites. Yeah I said it. How quickly black people and democrats forget the days when THEY called Colin Powell a "coon" or "sellout" and many other things because horror of all horrors he was black but a Republican. How many times was he summarily dismissed by Black America and Democrats because he was seen as one of the others and against the Black Man and Democratic America. Do not act like it did not happen because we all know that it did. Oh but how that tune has changed since he made his endorsement. Black people and Democrats you are two faced and that makes you no different from...

White people and Republicans, you are hypocrites. Yeah I said it. How quickly white people and republicans forget the days when THEY called Collin Powell a "dynamic speaker" or "excellent statesman" and many other things because wonder of all wonders he was black but a Republican. How many times was he lauded by White America and Republicans because he was a decorated veteran, a strong supporter of their ideals, and an atypical Black Man. Do not act like it did not happen because we all know that it did. Oh but how the tune has changed since he made his endorsement. White people and Republicans you are two faced and that makes you no different from...

**************

I guess it is true then what they say...

Strip away the outside things that mark us as different from one another, skin colour, party affiliations, and underneath it all we are just the same...

a bunch of two faced hypocrites...

**Disclaimer: these statements are sweeping generalisations and reflective of the actions of the minority (I hope) not the majority, and also my own opinion. Whether or not you agree is really of no concern.**

Fighting Amongst Ourselves

In response to this

1 comments:
Anonymous said...
Actually, I like your friend's hair (I'm another co-worker). I just wanted to tell you that white girls are awful to each other, too. I have a friend who is always pointing out what she doesn't like about herself (she'll poke her stomach out like a Buddha and say how fat she is). I told her that I try to never point out what I consider to be a flaw because maybe someone else hasn't noticed it. Once you mention it, though, they won't forget it. We also diss on the girl with the latest clothes, hair, significant other, etc. My 15-year-old niece is already using the b-word to describe girls she doesn't like. So, unfortunately, I think it is women in general who are our worst enemies. And, the men in our lives will only live up to the expectations we set for ourselves.

September 30, 2008 4:38 PM

A very good point is made here which is that the woman on woman bashing crosses all cultural, racial, social, and ethnic planes. Yet it still raises the questions of HOW? and WHY?

HOW:
How did we (the female gender collectively) end up this way?

There are many who would jump and say "it is the (inset appropriate colour reference here) man's fault", but really? Can men really be held responsible for how we see ourselves? for how we see each other? Honestly to me that is giving them far more credit than they deserve. How did we come from societies, cultures, and histories where the women were a strong, vital part of the family and community to where we are now?

WHY:
We are we (the female gender collectively) this way?

Why are we so competitive with and judgemental of each other? What are we fighting for? Seriously. Again, the knee jerk reaction is to blame men, but at what point do we take responsiblity for ourselves and our actions? Just because men call us bitches and hoes doesn't mean that we have to. Realistically the "change" is not going to start with the men, it has to start with us.

As the nurturers of society (and frankly I see NOTHING wrong with that) it is the women who shape the minds of the future generations so if we really want to effect a change in the way women are viewed within sociatal and family structures, then we need to put up or shut up. We want our men to change, well teach our boys how to be real men. We want each other to change, well teach our girls how to be real ladies.

Change starts from within... time to get those mirrors out and start taking a good hard look...

My Own Worst Enemy?

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:52 am
Subject: advice


so, i've had my long hair for a few months now. . .my mom loves it, my
cousin & her daughter love it - these are people I trust to tell me, "yeah
that's cute or girl it's time to let that go". . . so it took me by
surprise this morning when a co-worker friend told me, out of the blue,
"you know, I think you should get a short curly bob, that would look cute
on you". . .so are you telling me I don't look cute now?? . . .and why say
this now and not when I first got my hair back in July?? I told her I like
long hair. I mean, you have seen me, what do i need with a curly bob -
i'll look like a freakin' clown!! Now, she started wearing a new wig to
work last week, cute little bob w/layers in the back. I even told her it
looked cute b/c it does.

Why do "we" have such a hard time complementing each other?? She's cool
and all but I'm leery of people who give you those backhanded compliments.
ok, thanks for letting me vent. :-) do you think i'm overreacting or have
you come across people like this??

-- CJ

I received the email above from one of my best girl friends and it got me thinking about the question she raised; why do "we" have such a hard time complementing each other? Why do "we" often tear each other down? Why are "we" often our own worst enemy?

By "we" I mean black women, women of colour, however you define yourself, but for the purposes of not wanting to write all of that every time, I will generically use the term black. (Feel free to take umbrage with that, note however that I will feel free not to care).

This will probably get me in a lot of trouble with many people (like I care) but I really have to wonder if the "plight" of the black woman is more our own doing than the fault of how others outside of the race/culture treat us. Everyone always wants to blame "the man" for how we are portrayed in the media, treated in relationships, and looked upon in society, but a lot of the blame needs to be laid at our own doorsteps because we are often the number one offenders.

How many times do you see a scenario such as this:

1. Group of ladies...wait.. scratch that.. a group of females (because ladies should/would not behave so poorly) are out at the club, decent guy tries to chat them up and they brush him off and generally disavow his existence. He moves along then goes over to someone else who does pay him attention and they start chatting it up and so on. Upon seeing this the females then proceed to talk all kinds of trash about her. Something along the lines of:

• girl look at her, she think she cute with her little (insert trendy designer here) outfit on...

• that's probably a weave or a wig or something she got on (don't bust on weaves and wigs people... seriously... now if it's a busted then go right ahead, but if it is tight and looking right well then put the hater aide down and STFU)...

• just cause she is caramel/chocolate/redbone/high yellow/short/tall/slim/curvy etc. she think everybody wants to talk to her

This is such a typical occurrence that it has basically become normative. Why is there such competition going on? What are we competing for? Seriously?

The whole concept of blaming "the man (black and white)" is pretty much ridiculous to me because really, who do you think they are learning that it is ok to treat black women that way from? Why should they treat us any particular way when they see us putting each other down and treating each other so badly?

Why should men not call us bitches and hoes when we call each other that ALL THE TIME!!!

Why should men respect us when we do not even respect ourselves?

Seriously females piss me off with that nonsense. Always the first to fuss and kick about how males in society treat them but not once does it occur to them that the males are sometimes only mimicking their own behaviour.

If women want things to change, if WE want things to change, then we need to do like Michael said and start with the [wo]man in the mirror. Stop looking to others to change their ways first and lead by example.

Beautiful Stranger

"Are your eyes naturally that chinky or is it the makeup that has them looking like that?"

Oh my Lord are you serious?!?!?!

This is no joke. This happened a few weeks ago and apparently the cashier at the Jamba Juice where I stopped to get my morning smoothie was dead serious because she repeated the question when I just stared at her the first time.

Now in all honesty, people have commented on the shape of my eyes in the past, in fact my grandaddy called me his "pug nose baby with the chinese eyes". I have been asked if there are Asians in my family, whether or not I am part Asian, and many things of that nature, but never has it been put to me so bluntly.

I don't know why my eyes happen to have a particular slant to them and as far as I know there are no Asian people in my lineage (but like I said that is as far as I know). I myself don't think there is anything different about the shape of my eyes, but others do.

The exchange got me thinking about how it is that certain traits became ascribed to certain groups of people, or why in one culture a particular trait is looked down upon, yet other cultures are trying to find ways to achieve the same look, and consider it a mark/standard of beauty.

Examples:
Thick lips on Angelina Jolie = Hot
Thick lips on Angeliqa Jones = Not

Curly afro wig/weave on J-Lo = Hot
Real afro on female of colour = Not

Where have these conflicting standards of beauty come from.

On the one hand I believe a certain responsibility lies with the modeling/fashion industry and media. While Dream Girls was only a movie imagine for how many women (and men) it was a reflection on real events in their lives. Being pushed out or passed over for someone taller, thinner, lighter, younger, "prettier"; not necessarily better, just "better looking".

On the other hand I believe that responsibility can also be laid at people's home door steps. As a short, solid chick some could make the argument that maybe I am bitter or jealous because I do not fit the "Standard of Beauty", and if I had been raised in a different environment that may well have been the case. However, I was raised in an environment where I learned that it didn't matter what everyone else said or thought; what truly mattered was what you believed about yourself. We were taught to take pride in how we looked, and carry ourselves with dignity. More importantly we were taught that TRUE beauty is not something that could not be seen on the outside or measured in any calculable (wow that is really a word?) way.

True beauty has nothing to do with physical looks because there are some "gorgeous" ugly people in this world. You know that person that looks so good, but as soon as they open their mouth and start speaking you recoil; a pretty face hiding a dark character. Yet often times by virtue of the fact that they have a "pretty face" their bad behaviour is excused or accepted (Naomi Campbell anyone...).

What I realise though, is that there will not be a change coming anytime soon. Having worked behind the scenes on fashion shows and sitting in my office in the fashion district in the midst of fashion week I see that the same "standards" still exist.

I wonder what it will take to change them.

Chivalry Is Dead...

and women killed it.

Yes, I said it. Women are responsible for driving a stake through the heart of chivalry.

This really annoys me because as a woman I understand that the lack of chivalry in my day to day life is directly the result of generations of women working so hard to be "free and equal" that they obliterated the finer points of the things that made men and women inherently and wonderfully different.

There are those women who would say that men and women should be equal in all things, that there is no division between the sexes, that anything a man can do a woman can do with equal measure. Those who believe that all women should be "Independent Women" (screw you Destiny's Child). To those women I respectfully say [censored]!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I am fully in support of the idea that if a woman and a man do the same job or perform the same function in the workforce then the pay received should be equal. A woman should not be passed over for a promotion or looked over for a job because of her gender. That is discrimination and that is ignorant. That however is not what I am talking about.

What I do NOT support is the social castration of men. We are living in a society where females are being taught that they don't need a man for anything up to and including having/raising kids, which in turn breeds a level of disrespect towards and devaluation of women by men. Back in the day a man had to work to gain a woman's attention. He had to have class, style, manners, be gainfully employed, and carry himself with dignity. He had to treat her with respect and treat her as something valuable. In turn, women treated men with respect and allowed them to be real men. Then came feminism. I am woman hear me roar! I can have a career, run the house, and do everything a man can do. Big freaking deal. Now again I will reiterate that I am in full support of equal pay for equal work irrespective of gender. However, I believe that the independent woman/men and women are equal ideology does not work well with in the social and family structure.

Men and women are NOT THE SAME, and there is a reason for that. Men were fashioned in the role of protector and women in the role of nurturer. It is a ying and yang like relationship that balances itself out. When one party tries to take on the mantle of the other, then things are thrown out of balance and we end up where we are today.

I know this is going to get me in trouble, but what do I care. There are times when it seems that the feminist movement did more harm than good. I am sick and tired of hearing women go on and on about how they don't need a man to do for them because they can do for themselves. Well good for you SuperWoman, but what about the rest of us? There are some women who actually like men to be men (I can hear the undies of the extreme feminists twisting into a serious bunch right now). I want a man to open doors for me. I want a man to see my walking with bags and offer to assist me. I want a man to give up their seat for me on the bus or train. I want a man to offer to fix things for me. I want a man to be the head of my household, to be an example for my future children, to protect me. Does that make me lazy? Does it make me old fashioned? Does it make me crazy? I don't think so. I know good and well how to be handy, and can fix and repair a good number of things in my apartment on my own, but just because I can does not mean that I want to all the time. I also believe that I could raise a child on my own, but just because I could does not mean that I would want to or that I should.

I miss the days when men could be men without the fear recrimination from women. I miss the days of men holding doors, pulling out chairs, giving up seats, and just being gentlemen. I miss the days of men bringing the car around or offering their jacket so you would not have to get wet up in the rain. I miss the days of men being men in the home. In this day and age a chivalrous man is a rarity. The older men who were raised right are dying out, and the generations following them are not being taught to be proper men.

The men of my generation and the ones that follow me know nothing of chivalry and being a man. They have not been taught to be a gentleman, and they have no examples of gentlemen around them to govern themselves by. They have been brought up in a society of females and dudes with no real ladies and gentlemen around to learn from. Go out and pick up any magazine especially those geared towards the "black" male youth and what do you see portrayed on the cover? Do you see upstanding men and women of the community? No you don't. There are rappers, and ballers, and random chicks who are NOT the example that the youth of today should be following after, but what else can we expect from a society that places more value on material worth than it does on class and character.

While I understand that to some extent the feminist movement was needed to address disparity and inequality once women entered the workforce, I believe that it was taken too far when it emasculated men.

I will now go and hide from the feminist who will no doubt be after my blood...SIKE!!